According to a study done by psychology today, the pain and bleeding experienced when girls “lose their virginity” isn’t linked to the hymen breaking, but instead to insufficient lubrication and neither parties really knowing what the hell they’re doing. In fact, it turns out your hymen isn’t even supposed to “break” at all… if properly lubricated, it’s just supposed to stretch. Who knew?! Definitely not me. Or my mother who wouldn’t even let me wear tampons. Or the sex ed teachers at school apparently.
What irks me a little bit is that this is nowhere near a recent finding. So why doesn’t anybody know about it? And why do young girls still spend years leading up to their first sexual experience dreading inevitable hymen breaking pain and almost everyone I’ve spoken to about their first sexual experience report pain and bleeding? Well according to this article, this is the answer:
“Anna Knöfel from the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education points out over at Scarleteen that the bleeding-during-first-intercourse is yet another facet of virginity mythology that we’ve accepted as a standard and unnerving feature of the female sexual experience.”
This ignorance has everything to do with how awful our sex education classes are (which we’ve previous ranted about that in this post so I’m not going to spend too much time talking about this again) and to be quite honest, leaving out this particular information seems like just another way to scare girls into waiting ‘til they’re older to have sex. It also has to do with the fact that female sexuality is not a mainstream concern, which is why I’m so gung-ho about talking about it now even if I’m not the first to talk about this topic. Frankly, I sort of feel like I should be telling everybody I meet, it would definitely be a hell of an introduction.
I’m really curious to hear if anybody else knew about this before recently, (or if I really did just grow up with a whole bunch of conservatives) so leave me a comment to let me know below.