I sort of envy the people who can go through life, single and confident, having casual sex with whomever they see fit. No-strings-attached sex is something that has eluded me for my entire life, and I don’t think its something that I’ll ever be able to capture. I’m fine with that I guess – it just means that one night stands and things like that often don’t leave a positive impression on me.
But there’s always been a part of me that wishes I could go to a party or bar, pick up some hot dude, bring him home and just fuck his brains out without any regrets.
The more I’ve been thinking about it, however, the more I’ve been leaning towards the conclusion that non-emotional, meaningless sex is actually an impossibility.
I don’t think a person can successfully draw an absolute line between their emotions, or themselves in general and sex. Sex is intrinsically an emotional act – you have to pour yourself into it and ‘let yourself go’ in order to enjoy yourself.
Even someone who never engages in a relationship, or never sleeps with a partner more than once, still has an emotional attachment to their own sex life, or to the idea of being promiscuous and single.
Do what you want ladies, I ain’t judgin’
Besides that, sex that is completely devoid of any emotion or meaning seems like it would be pretty bad and unenjoyable sex. That’s an entirely subjective opinion, of course.
I think the idea of totally unattached and ‘meaningless’ casual sex is a bit of an urban myth perpetrated by a society/culture that has become afraid of commitment. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a prude, nor am I trying to slut-shame in any way. I’ve had many ‘casual encounters,’ and if that’s what you’re into, then power to you, I just think that there’s more depth to a casual encounter than many people would like to admit.
You’re forging an emotional bond with even your most casual fuck-buddy, even if that bond doesn’t evolve into that of a traditional ‘relationship.’ So, stop kidding yourself: have all the sex you want (the more the better,) but stop trying to pass the sex off as something it isn’t. That’s all I’m saying.
For some more discussion about this idea, conducted by people who actually ‘know what they’re talking about,’ check out this panel of experts from YourTango: