Ok, Ok, I get it. Or at least I hope I get it. This list is supposed to be ironic, or at least have its tongue planted firmly in its cheek. But then again, the more I glanced around the website, the more I started to believe that MAYBE this list isn’t self aware at all, and is actually supposed to be some fucked up guide to ‘pleasing your man’ and being a ‘proper woman.’ And if this list isn’t ironic, well, it’s one of the most offensive and mysoganistic things I’ve seen on the internet, and that’s saying quite a lot.
Here are some of the more questionable items from the list, though the vast majority of them are pretty awful:
“3. You Shouldn’t Take It Personally When He Checks Out Other Women
Unless he’s leering and drooling, just let it slide. It’s a reflex and he can’t help it. Just let it slide.
17. You’ve Got To Watch Your Weight
Oh shit, did I really say that? Well, it’s true. Just because you landed him doesn’t mean you can eat whatever you want and stop going to the gym (and to be fair, neither can he).
24. He Has No Interest In Shoes
What is it with women and shoes? You may think that new pair is the cutest thing in the world, but it just mystifies him.
35. Don’t EVER Emasculate Him
Even if you’re just joking. I promise you, he won’t think it’s funny. And if you do it during a fight, your relationship might never recover.
39. You Should Let Him Open Doors For You
It’s great that you’re all liberated and shit, but being a gentleman never goes out of style. Let him do those little things and it will make him love you more.
42. If You Make Him Watch A Chick Flick, At Least Give Him A Blowjob Afterwards
Seriously, those things are painful. You have no idea how much we hate them. If he made it through the whole thing without complaining, reward him. And if it was one of the SEX & THE CITY movies, you owe him either anal or a threesome. Your choice. ”
Seriously, what the fuck is this garbage? It’s like a paint-by-numbers to becoming a bullshit Mad Men fantasizing smarmy asshole. I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised, considering the website this was pulled from is a “Wall Street Culture” site, but it’s still unbelievable. I thought it was 2014? Do men still even expect/desire women to act like this, like a 50s housewife? I don’t get it.
I honestly can’t think of one woman who might read this list and actually take anything useful away from it, and I would be scared to meet anyone who might derive some value from it. I don’t understand how the website/author believes any of this drivel has any editorial value. It’s a waste of space on the internet! I hope I’m just being sensitive and dense and that this is all satirical, but like I said, I doubt it.
That’s the problem with these fluffy ‘top 10’ style posts floating around all over the internet: they are produced en masse without any real quality control. I understand that things are meant to be controversial to drive traffic and get people (like me) reading, but enough is enough!
What do you think about this list? Do you see anything on it that might prove at all useful?