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Dating Co-Workers: Can It Work?

There’s a stigma about dating a co-worker that’s hard to ignore, yet on many levels, it makes so much sense.

Work is a really easy place to meet new people, and to get to know them.  You’ll have many opportunities to learn some pretty intimate things about a person: how they think, how they deal with adversity, how they dress, even what they like to eat for lunch.  Considering the intimacy that can be built with a co-worker, and the fact that you can conceivably become good friends with one of your peers, it seems odd to draw the line at dating.  But there must be a good reason why office relationships are frowned upon, right?

I’m sort of on the fence about this subject.  I’ve dated a co-worker, and it didn’t work out, and things did get a little awkward around the office – on the other hand, I also think I’d be willing to give an office romance another shot.  There are definitely some pretty significant obstacles to overcome however.

For one, you’re going to be seeing A LOT of your partner.  Relationships, especially new ones, need some space for fear of them become stuffy and overwhelming.  Going to work is a good way to momentarily get your mind off your relationship and focus on something else.  Say goodbye to that alone time if you’re dating your coworker.

Additionally, it can be difficult to separate work from romance.  There’s a strong chance that, once you and your partner go home together, you’ll spend quite a bit of time talking/gossiping/complaining about work, which is fine, but it’s important to create a distinction between your two lives together.

Source: theundiedrawer.wordpress.com via GilPowers on Sex.com

Essentially, I’m of the feeling that, if you really care for someone, or fall for someone, something like being co-workers is a comparatively pretty easy obstacle to get over.  I would suggest trying to be as sure as possible that you’re willing to deal with the potential pitfalls of the situation.  For example, if things don’t work out, you could be looking at a VERY awkward day-to-day situation, which is not a weight you want to place on yourself in your place of work.

But, love conquers all right?  Just be careful, and be smart about things, and you can make anything “work” and cross any bridges as they present themselves!

What about you: have you ever dated a co-worker?  Did it work out?  Would you consider it?

8 Responses to “Dating Co-Workers: Can It Work?”

  1. evelynnriley

    I’ve casually slept with a coworker once, and I’ve dated a boss once. Two opposite ends of the spectrum. Both had their respective pros and cons.
    In the end, though, the things to look out for getting into that sort of situation are exactly the things that happened. Upon breaking up, work became an uncomfortable environment and beside being awkward it was also kind of sad because I missed the fun, lively atmosphere that existed before, when we were still together. It’s an interesting thing, though.

    • theundiedrawer

      Yea, that is what I would be most worried about – the aftermath. I feel like, if I liked a co-worker enough where I could see myself falling in love with them, a decision would ultimately have to be made: which one of us is staying, and which one of us is looking for a new job?

  2. disconcerted72

    I have never dated any co-workers, but the temptations have been there on many occasions. I simply think that the emotional issues in a relationship might make a work environment difficult and sometimes the people you work with are NOT the people you want to go home with. I suppose it might work for some, but I also think that the overwhelming majority of people would say that work-romances are a no-no.

    • theundiedrawer

      Yeah, I agree with you on a personal level. I need some individuality and “me” time, and my interactions at work I like to keep separate from home, if only because thinking about work stuff 100% of the time would drive me nuts, and I wouldn’t necessarily be able to clearly separate my relationship mentality from my work mentality. And I’m cut-throat at work!

  3. NHMG

    This is a great question to pose. Work is an easy place for serious relationships, naughty trysts or sexy mental play. It happens all around me whether I know it or not.

    I have never dated anyone from my workplace nor would I consider a sexual affair or naughty chat, etc. with anyone from the work environment. There is definitely something to be said for not shitting where you eat. When it goes wrong, it usually goes magnificently wrong. Especially when it was a NSA, ‘who’s gonna get hurt?’ kind of affair. Yeah. Right.

    But I have seen a few get it right and find real love amidst the madness of the workplace, get married, make babies and manage to find their balance as individual professionals and as a couple.

    So I am decidedly undecided.

    • theundiedrawer

      Yea, I’m totally in the same boat as you, in terms of indecision. The “don’t shit where you eat” statement is really apt, but on the other hand, love manages to find a way, usually. I’ve seen workplace relationships work out, but I don’t think I could personally make it work. I’m a person who needs their space – even outside of work I need a few nights a week of ‘alone time.’ To be with my partner 24hrs per day would likely drive me completely insane, no matter how much I loved the person.

      • NHMG

        To come totally clean on this one, I found my lovely wife in my firm. Thank goodness she worked in a different office on the other side of the world. Otherwise we would have gotten into all sorts of daytime trouble. I am sure of that. Work is a natural place to find romance. In my case I am glad we had some built-in barriers to keep it from getting carried away and also to have some natural distance if it went horribly wrong. But this romance had a happy ending.

      • theundiedrawer

        Really happy to hear that! And yeah, that’s great that you managed to get the best of both worlds in terms of workplace romance. You got to use the workplace as a medium to meet her, but then didn’t have to work with her every day and create an awkward interaction!

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