Warning: Contents May Be Hot

Don’t Let Sex Stats Run Your Game

If you read this blog on a regular or semi-regular basis, you know that I spend a lot of time talking about dating, relationships and sex.  I try to draw as much as possible from my personal experiences (of which I have quite a lot), but it can be interesting to refer to scientific studies, to statistics, and to infographics.

Numbers and stats can be very illuminating in attempting to get an overall picture of how our society approaches things like relationships and sex, but its also important to remember that, no matter how objective and scientific these studies might claim to be, that they aren’t the end all be all.

You should never feel weird, or feel like you’re not normal, because of something you’ve read in a study or poll.

You should never try to change yourself so you can fit in with the average.

It may seem obvious, but everyone is a complex individual with a unique set of emotions, habits, likes and dislikes.  No matter how thorough a research study, it will never be thorough enough to truly get into the facets of an individual’s personality.  I look at polls and infographics the same way that I look at sex tips in Cosmo or horoscopes in the newspaper: I really enjoy reading them, and they provide some form insight and entertainment, but I’m never going to take them truly seriously and let them inform the important decisions in my life.

Nobody fits into the little boxes constructed by these over-arching studies, and nor should they.  These things skim across the very top to try and reach a scientific truth, which they might achieve to varying degrees of success.  If people took everything they read at face value and applied them to themselves in a personal manner, we would have some very emotionless, non-sympathetic people floating around in our world.

Source: theundiedrawer.wordpress.com via GilPowers on Sex.com

Don’t lose the things that make you YOU, just because a bunch of scientists or professionals told you that you should be a certain way.

End rant.

4 Responses to “Don’t Let Sex Stats Run Your Game”

  1. Elphie Wellerstein

    “Nobody fits into the little boxes constructed by these over-arching studies, and nor should they. ” I have been struggling with this a lot lately with my boyfriend. We’ve been together almost 8 years and I feel that he’s coming into crisis mode and comparing our relationship to every fantasy he has in his mind… It’s really hard not to compare yourself and I am having quite a bit of trouble standing up for myself and our relationship…

    • theundiedrawer

      That’s a really tricky situation to be in. Does this refer specifically to your sexual relationship, or are you talking about an over-arching fantasy of ‘how things should be.’ This is a difficult situation to avoid because of how over-saturated the media/everything is with “how thing should be.”

  2. Elphie Wellerstein

    It started with sex because I was going through a period of having a lot of sexual pain…obviously we felt quite distant from each other at those times. Now that things are better, I think he’s afraid of getting “stuck” in a bad situation again. I know he loves me, but I think occasionally he just gets really freaked out about everything we’ve been through and can’t look past it. The “what ifs” can drive you crazy if that’s all you think about!!!


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