When you’re single, you tend to meet a wide variety of different people and personalities until eventually, and inevitably, you meet someone who seems ‘right’ and settle into either a short-term or long-term relationship with them. Being single can be mis-leading, however. Everyone has their faults – but they can less pronounced, or you might ignore them, in an effort to just meet someone. Be careful though! Personality ‘flaws,’ though they might seem unimportant at first, can rear their ugly heads later in relationships and cause issues.
I’ve dated a wide variety of different people, and the most frustrating one for me, by far, is the flake!
People can be flakey for a variety of reasons. Maybe they are unsure if they want to start seeing you, or in fact, seeing anyone. Perhaps they are dating a few different people at once, or “playing the field.” Or maybe they’re just really busy with other things, like work. But no matter the reason, flakes run hot and cold, they make and cancel plans, and in general, its just impossible to determine if there is any forward progress occurring. How frustrating!
The worst part, is that you might be tempted to try and change their flakey ways and ‘settle them down.’
Dating someone who is exceedingly flakey can be self-destructive, however. Dating a flake can be a real blow to your confidence. Do they like me? Do they not like me? Will they want to do something this week? If yes, will they bail out at the last second?
Of course, there’s a chance that someone is being flakey simply because they are self-conscious, shy, or unsure about the situation at hand – but as someone once told me when I was asking for advice about a flake I was dating: “A flake is a flake is a flake.”
All I’m saying is this – if you start seeing someone who you might suspect is a total flake, be careful that you don’t get hurt! It might be rewarding to imagine a situation where the person gets over their issue and determines that they want to start dating you in a more steady way, but, it can be a rocky road of ups and downs to get to that point!