Warning: Contents May Be Hot

Can Long Distance Work?

Relationships, as we all know, are filled with peaks and valleys.

They can be tricky!

You might be totally digging this person you’re dating, when, all of a sudden, one of you needs to move away to a different city for whatever reason.  Now you have a really difficult decision to make: to embark on the arduous long-distance relationship, or cut your losses and move on?

I’ve tried both choices before, and let me tell you, neither is ideal.

Can I preface by saying that I’ve never, ever seen a long distance relationship truly work out?  I’ve seen them maintained for months at a time, but inevitably, the distance creates too big of a rift and the two people drift apart.  This might seem pessimistic, but as far as I know

Option 1 – Cutting your Losses: This might theoretically seem like the easier choice.  Avoid any potential heartbreak or drawn out erosion of your relationship by making it a real goodbye when you or your partner hit the road.  The problem is, the easiness only exists theoretically.

When I did this, it was really awful.  The parting was extremely difficult as we were currently in the midst of really falling for each other. As a result, for the first few months of living in my location, I was trying to get over feeling sad and lonely and didn’t devote enough time to becoming acclimated to my new surroundings.

Get dressed up and talk dirty!

Get dressed up and talk dirty!

Option 2 – Maintain the relationship over long distance: Your heart might lead you in this direction since it can be so difficult to say goodbye when you’re really into someone.  Long distance relationships are really difficult so keep that in mind.  The lack of physical interaction on a day-to-day basis can be really straining, even if you talk all of the time.

The person who has moved to a new place will inevitably be meeting a bunch of new people, which can create stress for both parties.  I believe the only way a long-distance relationship can work is when there is a firm date that has been set up for when the final reunion will occur.  Open-ended long distance relationships are simply too stressful for both parties to maintain in a healthy positive manner.

My conclusion is obviously skewed by my own experiences, whereby neither gameplan worked very well for me.

I would like to think that that if a couple truly loves each other, they can make a long distance relationship work, or rather, can get through ANY relationship roadblock together.  I’ve just never seen it personally!

How about you, have you ever made a long distance relationship work?  Are there any tips/tricks to make things easier?

5 Responses to “Can Long Distance Work?”

    • Coleeana

      I am currently in a long distance relationship and he is my first boyfriend. I was 19 and he’s 23 when we became a couple now I’m 20 and we are more than a year. I was afraid to take risk because I never had any relationship before and all of a sudden he’s gonna leave me because he is a seafarer. There had been a lot of challenges given that I am a student and my top priority should be my academics but because of love, he became my top priority and its good to know that we were able to pull it off. I love it when he’s home but I dread the days that he is about to leave. The feeling almost killed me but i was able to adjust and I got used to it. We schedule skype dates and we constantly communicate, almost everyday through email and I know there are a lot of problems to come but we both want to work it out so we are really on it. I love him so much and I believe that long distance relationships can work if two people put effort to make it work. In fact my mom and dad used to be in this kind of relationship before. 🙂

      Reply
  1. lesfemmesvoice

    My husband and I actually were in a semi-long distance relationship for several years during college. I stayed in Ohio for college, while he attended Yale in Connecticut. We got to see each other over winter and summer break, of course, but with stretches of 3 or 4 months in between without seeing one another. We maintained our relationship by Skyping every night and texting through out the day. We would even watch movies and do homework together over Skype. Long distance relationships definitely aren’t for everyone, though, and it just depends on each person’s personality, relationship needs and how committed they are to making it work.

    For anyone who is currently in/considering a long distance relationship, my one piece of advice is communication. Stay in contact as much as possible so that neither partner feels as if they are missing out on what is happening in the others’ life. Also, Skype is a wonderful invention, so take advantage of it!! 🙂

    -C

    Reply

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