Warning: Contents May Be Hot

The Rebound


OK, so you finally gave in to common sense and ditched that jerk. Or maybe he wasn’t a jerk, and you guys really loved each other, and things just didn’t work out for whatever reason.  I get it – breakups fucking suck.  They’re never easy, even if you’re the one doing the dumping.

So now you’re living in the gaping, empty void that is your life as a newly-minted single person.  Where do you go from here?  It can be exceedingly tricky to re-establish your life as an individual, especially if you’ve just spent some time in a serious relationship where you were co-dependant with your partner.

According to this study, approximately one third of the people they followed post break-up had a sexual ‘rebound’ encounter within 4 weeks of their break-up.  Most of these people had sex to either get over their previous relationship, or as a form of revenge for getting dumped.  Not exactly healthy, right?

I’m of the opinion that having ‘rebound sex’ can actually be a really good thing – it can act as a cathartic release from the emotional weight of going through a tough breakup.  The key here is to be able to objectively define a hook-up as rebound sex.

It can be all too easy to relate your next partner to the person you broke up, and to put unnecessary emotional pressure on the whole situation.

Which is why rebound sex often gets a bad rap, in my opinion – people use rebound sex as a crutch to get over the emotional trauma of a break-up, yet, that crutch also prevents them from healing properly and from moving on from their last, more serious relationship.

Source: pinterest.com via GilPowers on Sex.com

I think, after a break-up, it’s important to strike a strong balance.  Rebound sex is OK as long as you take it for what it is – a way to physically get over your ex and to release some built up sexual tension that you might not have head with a steady sexual partner.

On the other hand, I believe that its just as important to take the time to examine yourself and to work on your own shit.

There’s no point in rushing into a sexual encounter with someone if its going to make your post-relationship independence regress.

The last thing you want is to have to jump from partner to partner in the hopes of finding that emotional security that you once had with someone who’s long gone.  Find that security yourself, then move on to fucking!

2 Responses to “The Rebound”

  1. disconcerted72

    Interesting post (I just happened upon this)!

    I think there is always the idea that anything in moderation is good and sometimes that first romp after a break-up can help severe the ties – so to speak. But often, I think there are people that are looking to replace or rehash the intimacy they originally had. Unfortunately, this can’t happen, and the person ends up hurt and hurting the person they’ve been romping.

    • theundiedrawer

      Totally correct!

      I think that people need to to stop trying to re-live the intimacy which they had with their previous partner. I think that that can be difficult to do, because nostalgia often drives many of our decisions but I believe its the only way to have a no-strings-attached rebound.


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