Warning: Contents May Be Hot

Shit! Where’s The Bathroom?

I’m sitting there, staring into your eyes with my hands grazing your face and kissing your soft lips. Out of nowhere, my stomach starts to rumble. We just ate so I’m obviously not hungry. We both just looked at each other and laughed. We start kissing again and everything is going well until there’s another loud noise from my stomach. I apologize profusely, super embarrassed but it seems by stomach is just getting started. What seemed like an innocent grumble has turned into a full force monster attack happening on my insides.

I’m pretty embarrassed. Besides killing the mood, I’m feeling a sudden urge to go to the bathroom. Crap, what do I do (pun intended)?  Seriously, this has to be the worst timing ever. This is my first time with this guy, we’re definitely not at the point in our relationship where I can say, “hold up a minute, I need to take a dump”.

When I was younger, I thought women were supposed to be perfect at all times. We did not fart, poop, pick our nose or do any sort of ‘disgusting’ act, especially in front of men. As I got older, I realized when you gotta go, you just gotta go.  So my question is when is the appropriate time to take a dump at your boyfriend’s apartment?

This all depends on the type of relationship. If you never feel comfortable, there are ways to hide it. If you know it’s going to be a musical visit, run the water or play music. If you know it’s going to be a smelly, just spray some Poo-Pourri before unloading and the odor magically disappears. If you haven’t watched their YouTube video, do that right now here!

Ladies, it’s not healthy to hold it inside so go! If he gets grossed out or is not understanding, then good riddance. Better to find out sooner than later that he’s a dick. So relax and do as nature calls!

Xoxo Leyla

Dina Goldstein's brilliant real relationship Barbie & Ken

Dina Goldstein’s brilliant real relationship Barbie & Ken

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