How much do you hate when a person you like tells you they aren’t “emotionally available”? I despise it. It may sometimes actually be true, I still think it’s a cheap excuse. We all have baggage, that’s how we navigate through life. Some are light packers, other over packers, and others breeze through customs with a tight carry-on.
I respect people that take the time to asset what went wrong and right, so they can apply their findings to forthcoming relationships. Like an over packer who will later admit to himself he never used his yoga mat on his trip to Vegas, hopefully next time he’ll remember to be realistic.
My problem with the ever-so-popular “I’m not emotionally available” is that it is a total cop out – an excuse designed to avoid responsibility.
When you date someone, ideally you both develop sentiments for each other. Realistically, one always catches feelings faster than the other, or worst, they’re not reciprocated. Next comes the dance, it’s not classy like a tango or flamenco; it’s more of a twerk – dirty.
Instead of being honest and telling the person things are not gonna work out, many like to string tender hearts along. Could be that you still wanna have sex with the person, or could be you feed off the attention.
So now you wanna keep this person around, but you don’t wanna commit to any real emotional connection. What you’re actually doing is keeping your options open, because if the right person came along you would NOT pull that shitty excuse on them.
Straight up honesty is rare these days. We live in a disposable world, and we treat our relationships the same way. We fool ourselves into believing telling people we aren’t “emotionally available” is enough of a warning to keep them from caring. As if this explanation gives us the immunity to play with other’s hearts and place them back on the shelf when we’re done without any consequences.
Good and great might slip right past you when you’re too busy looking for perfect.
How about you check your bags before your next date and travel light, give yourself a chance to explore.
Peace, I’m out.