You’re getting dolled up for your first date with this hottie you met at your local coffee shop. He’s handsome, funny, smart, successful and ambitious. You think this is finally a man you see the potential to develop a healthy relationship with. He’s taking you to a trendy new restaurant on a Friday night. Bonus points, he knows how to dine in style.
Your date is on time, the table is perfect, the waiter is energetic and pleasant – great start. The daily specials have been explained in detail and everything sounds delicious. Some light conversation is being carried over while you both examine the menu.
The waiter is ready to take your order. Your date politely nods in your direction in gentlemanly fashion for you to order first.
“I’ll have the baby kale salad, no focaccia croutons please,” you say, trying not to sound like a typical female, “Thanks”.
He orders the braised lamb shank with a side of sweet potato fries. The waiter has a half smile because it’s probably a solid choice.
Skip through the small talk and the dirty Kettle One martinis. The plates arrive and you instantly have food envy. “Why the hell did I order the salad?”, you think to yourself while trying not to get caught salivating over his hardy dish.
You probably ordered the salad because you wanted to appear healthy, weight conscious and ladylike. Mistake. He knows very damn well you don’t actually want the salad. In fact he’s probably either amused by your restraint or secretly rolling his eyes thinking “another salad girl”.
You spend half the meal fantasizing about stealing his fries and the other half talking about things you think will spark his interest and have him wanting more from you.
The date is now over and you’re in your washroom removing the face you painted on for the occasion. You think, “well that went well, hope he calls”. You’re feeling confident because you carefully put your best foot forward.
There is a problem with this little scenario. If you want a real connection to happen, you should never put your best foot forward, you should in fact do the opposite. Be as real and authentic as you can. Have the rib steak with mash, show your date you know how to live and let loose. While you’re trying to be someone else, who is gonna be you? Are you trying to get YOURSELF in a relationship or this polish little version of you who you think is better?