Warning: Contents May Be Hot

I’ll Have a Double


It’s Friday night, you’re single and thirsty. You’re multitasking a series of incoming texts trying to find the most tantalizing options to spend your evening. You’re hoping a single girl friend will suggest some new man cave hot spot where you can expand your circle of opportunities.

Finally, you and your posse enter a little hipster dive bar that’s actually not as low key as it looked from the outside. A sea of men working on their Movember ‘staches and Old Fashion bourbon base drinks are casually chatting. Heaven, you think.

You walk up to the bar with two major dilemmas. First, am I into the guy wearing the snapback and the tie? Second, what the hell am I gonna drink?  You try and get the pretentious bartender’s attention while you notice Snapback is checking you out. Mistake number one. You are not ready for either of them.

The bartender asks you what you’d like. Simultaneously, Snapback just asked you what you thought of the corky little coasters – terrible opening line.

You panic, because the bartender has plenty of others to serve and she’s growing annoyed by your hesitation.  This causes you to forget every existing drink on the planet.  Quick, you look at Snapback’s beverage, a beer. He’s still waiting for your coaster reaction. Breathe, you got this.

“I’ll have a double Jameson, on the rocks.” You’ve just bumped your street credibility with both parties.

Snapback smiles and the bartender pours. You tell him coasters are for people that are looking to put their drinks down. He laughs. That was witty. Two points for you. The bartender gave you a good pour, because you ordered a respectable drink, just when she would of pegged you for a “vodka cranberry” kind of girl.  You pay her and tip generously. Snapback is impressed by your smooth transaction and self-assurance.

Crisis(ish) averted.

A first impression with your bartender is as important, if not more than with a hottie.  You always want to have an ally in the establishment, trust me.  The smoothest move a woman can ever pull, in a bar, is knowing how to order her own drink.



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