You’ve been dating your man for just about four years now. Things are good. You live together, have a dog and two adorable cats, a dishwasher and a walk-in closet. Life is pretty great. You think to yourself, “This is it, I’d be happy with him for the rest of my life!” You are willing to overlook some small pet peeves and differences, because obviously that’s how relationships work.
It’s Sunday night aka date night with the hubby. You head to the local market, in the late afternoon, pick up some of your favorite foods and cook up a storm while playfully dancing to some old school Lauren Hill.
Dinner is ready and it’s delicious. The second bottle of Pinot is drained and Netflix is attempting to lore you to the couch. You must both resist, because, well it’s date night and you were hoping to get some action going before your weekly grinds start up again.
You move to the bedroom and start making out like teenagers. It’s fun. Things are starting to heat up and you’re excited. A couple minutes into it, you find yourself in the same position you pretty much always do and you’re expecting the next switch up. It’s still good, just that it’s a little… predictable. You both finish up, cuddle a little and fall asleep. It’s still good.
The next day, as you’re on your phone, waiting in line for your coffee, you notice a cute pic of a silk nighty. You think, finally following Victoria Secret’s Instagram account is paying off. That’s exactly what next date night needs. You do some online shopping during your lunch break. Perfect, delivery within 3-5 business days. You’re nervous because you’ve never really purchased lingerie for yourself.
Fast forward a week. It’s Sunday night, you’re back from an amazing sushi dinner. Your man jumps in the shower. You throw on the new secret weapon. He towels off and gets into bed. You enter the room looking like what you think is seductive. He’s confused. Maybe he laughs a little. It’s a normal reaction when your girlfriend does something completely out of character. You get mad. Also a normal reaction when you go out of your way to spice things up.
Now he’s working hard to buy himself back.
“Baby, I just… I wasn’t expecting it… You’ve never really done that before. You look hot, you just took me off guard… come on don’t be mad.” He’s peddling.
You realize maybe you did look kind of awkward and it was out of left field. You take off the nighty, launch it from the bed and decide to regain control of the situation. There’s no way you’re not getting laid on date night.
An hour later, that was some of the best sex you’ve had all year. Why? Because you were pissed off, then you rationally bonded over something and then you channeled that energy into something you really wanted. You got yours.
My point is, when you do something that feels natural, you will be confident. When you try and do something out of character, it might seemed forced, and that’s not always hot. I’m not saying don’t try anything new. By all means, please do. Just be aware that seduction starts with confidence. If a pair of Brazilian cut booty short and a little crop top makes you feel sexy, trust me it will be contagious.
Keep it real.