Does An Age Gap Matter?
Let me talk with you about age differences and how they might affect your relationship for a second, OK?
Here’s what I think: as long as you make the proper concessions and preparations, age shouldn’t mean shit if you really like someone.
Sure, age difference CAN cause problems – for a variety of reasons. I’ve personally dated men who are both quite a lot older than me, and also quite a lot younger, and both had their ups and downs.
If you think about it, however, age is such an arbitrary thing. The main thing, like in any relationship, is to maintain an open and honest line of communication with your partner.
Having said that, here are some of the common issues and themes that might come up in an age-centric relatonship:
Life Stage – As we grow older, our priorities shift and we want different things out of life.
Maybe you’d like to settle down, think about getting more serious, stop partying so much. It’s possible, if you’re a sucker (JOKING) the idea of kids and marriage are even floating around in your head. If you’re dating someone much younger/older than you, your priorities might seem alien to your partner.
It’s important that, if you see things getting more serious, that both parties of the relationship make clear their intentions and expectations.
You don’t want to be dating some 47 year old guy who can feel his biological clock ticking and who wants to have a kid before he’s too old, whereby you just wanna go out to dinner and chill out with somebody more mature than your ex-boyfriend.
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External Pressure – You know that episode of friends where Phoebe’s brother is dating the mom from That 70’s Show and everyone is really shocked and can’t believe it and tries to talk him out of it but then he ignores them and keeps dating her? Yeah? Well get ready to encounter shit like that to some degree if there’s a significant age gap in your relationship.
This might not be an issue if your friends are supportive and aren’t assholes, but, even the best of friends have a way of trying to find ways to poke holes in what’s going on in your life.
Beyond that, if things get serious, you might run into issues with your parents/their parents and the societal pressure can just generally create a lot of strain and pressure. If you think this might be an issue for you, or you put a lot of weight into people’s opinions of you, you might want to re-consider an age-centric relationship.
In general, I think age gap relationships can work, and can work well. It’s really interesting and can be rewarding to date someone who’s in a different stage of life from you. They can provide you with experiences and opinions that your direct peers may not be able to. But, like any relationship, they can take a lot of work. Assess whether dating someone who’s much older/younger than you is something you are willing to work on and fight for.
Or if you just totally fell in love with some old guy and don’t care about any of this stuff, then fuck it, have fun!
What do you think, have you ever been in a relationship with a big age difference? Do you think these relationships can work?
The Undie Drawer 
2 Responses to “Does An Age Gap Matter?”
Why do I get the impression this was focused on women dating older/younger men??? LOL
Also, remember when Monica (a la Friends) was dating her childhood dentist? Granted, it was Tom Selleck and no one can ever go wrong dating him, right?
I get your point though, and the reality is that each relationship is unique for a variety of reasons and age could be one of those. The reality is, it’s no one’s business except the two people involved…
Although, doing your teen daughter’s best friend, like it was portrayed in American Beauty, would be a tad much, don’t you think?
Yes, it certainly was focused that way 🙂
It SHOULD be nobody’s business, but, I find that regardless of how much you internalize relationship issues, people will always have their opinions and these might sub-consciously affect the way you or your partner approach things.